By now everyone and their grandmas know about the grand opening of the Red Hook Fairway. I must admit that I was intrigued, and was oh so curious as to what was the big deal with this Upper West Side institution. What could possibly be better than my once beloved, pre-sellout Trader Joe’s? The C-Town on 9th street was adequate, albeit a bit pricey. So yesterday, we decided to head on over to Red Hook and join the throngs of Fairway followers. About $50 and several bags of groceries, junk food, and bounty towels later, karen and I were asking ourselves, Trader Who? We have our fingers crossed that Fairway didn’t lower the prices just for the grand opening.

We all know Memorial Day weekend is the unofficial start to summer. Technically it is still spring, but the weather is nice and warm, the sun is shining (even when it rains!), kids are jittery with only a month left of school, working stiffs are waiting for summer fridays, and restaurants and bars boast their gardens are open. It’s summer already!

One of the hilights of summer has got to be the eating contests. Here in Brooklyn, we’ve got that Nathan’s hot dog eating contest in Coney Island, in which a scrawny Japanese kid puts our XL heavyweight eaters to shame. First it was televisions, then cars, then baseball, and for the past few years the Japanese have been overtaking our hot dog eating contests. Eating contests are a cornerstone of our culture and we simply cannot cede that away.

There is an opportunity to redeem ourselves and beat the Asians at their own game in August at the 11th Annual Tofu Eating Contest.

Today’s New York Times reports that most of the 38 million folks who travel during this holiday weekend will be going by way of the automobile. Even more interesting is that by Labor Day, drivers will have logged over a staggering 800 billion miles. That’s with a B. One driver interviewed from West Hollywood, CA said she was concerned about the price of gas, but her worries hasn’t altered her lifestyle in anyway.

It’s great to see that my fellow Americans haven’t been deterred by the price of gas from their their driving. We all complain about it, but seems like we’ve all accepted having to pay around $3 a gallon. Looking forward to when prices drop down to more manageable levels, perhaps the government will be smart enough to levy taxes on gas consumption to keep prices at around $2.50 a gallon. That tax revenue can fund environmental protection programs, research alternative fuel energies, improve mass transit, and even educate citizens about alternative modes of transportation such as the bicycle.

Wishful thinking on my part on this holiday weekend.

Leave it to the well traveled Brits to be the first Westerners targeted for China’s premiere (and only?) beach destination of Hainan Island. Where is Hainan? It’s China’s southern most island, and those with good memories may recall that the Americans who were on a reconaissance mission a few years ago were forced down and held in Hainan Island. In any case, the “Hawaii of Asia” features gold sand beaches, cerulean waters, and the typical monster resort bigwigs like the Marriott and Sheraton.

Hainan is still pretty much an Asian resort and has some ways to be tamed for Westerners. For one thing, the Chinglish (fried froggy?) however endearing, probably needs to go. Despite the Brit’s love of fish, they probably don’t want the head still attached when it’s served. Rather than not serving guts and brains, the Chinese feel serving dishes like chow mein and egg fu young is the way to go. In other words, the typical Chinese dishes that can be found from Havana to Johannesburg. As part of the ongoing westernization process, a few lucky Hainan resort employees will be sent to re-education camps in the Caribbean and Canary Islands to study British holiday behavior.

Way up near the New York State-Canadian border in a town called Croghan sits a general store that’s up for sale. Unlike other general stores scattered around the country, the 135 year old E.M. Marilley and Co. hasn’t switched over to selling touristy junk and gourmet coffee to survive against the assault brought on by megamalls. In fact, their business philosophy pretty much runs counter to any profit making methods. Every item in the store stays on the store shelf until it’s sold.

Now if you can’t see yourself purchasing the store, perhaps you might be interested in laying down some hard cash for turtlenecks from the 1980 Winter Olympics. Or maybe the 95 percent polyester flare-leg jeans are more your style. Surely you will look stunning with a pair of rubber boots from B.F. Goodrich. Now that’s HOT!

Newark has a new mayor for the first time in almost two decades. The Nets and Devils are both in the playoffs. The Giants, Jets, Metrostars… er RedBulls have new stadium plans. The New Jersey Turnpike added a new exit 15X. Jersey City is becoming the new Williamsburg. New Yorkers are actually commuting to work in Hoboken offices.

Despite all this good news, the Garden State is still dealing with a bear problem. The bears aren’t just a scare for some intrepid campers, but are now freaking out suburban residents. This afternoon, the police over in Irvington, NJ decided that it was best to kill a bear hanging out in someone’s backyard than to tranquilize him.