The most emailed article on nytimes.com the past couple of days was the article on Beijing’ seemingly Sisyphean effort on chinglish, queuing, and spitting in time for the 2008 Olympics. The city is on a rampage to educate folks about changing these bad habits, even going as far as designating an official “Queuing Day.” The efforts are indeed earnest, but these are the sort of habits that have been practiced for generations and are hard to break in just one year.

Shanghai’s Xiangyang Road Fashion and Gift Market is going the way of the Dodo. Known as the place to score luxury knockoffs like the Louis Vuitton bags, North “Fake” gear, cds and dvds, the market is being wiped out as part of the Shanghai goverment’s plan to redevelop the area.

I personally don’t understand why anyone would want the knockoffs. I mean, isn’t obvious it’s a fake? Why do people want a fake? What’s even more strange is that the owners know they’re fakes. Actually, what’s more mind boggling is that in a country known worldwide for knockoffs, this market is particularly famous for selling fakes. I wonder how this place came to score such a distinction.

Leave it to the well traveled Brits to be the first Westerners targeted for China’s premiere (and only?) beach destination of Hainan Island. Where is Hainan? It’s China’s southern most island, and those with good memories may recall that the Americans who were on a reconaissance mission a few years ago were forced down and held in Hainan Island. In any case, the “Hawaii of Asia” features gold sand beaches, cerulean waters, and the typical monster resort bigwigs like the Marriott and Sheraton.

Hainan is still pretty much an Asian resort and has some ways to be tamed for Westerners. For one thing, the Chinglish (fried froggy?) however endearing, probably needs to go. Despite the Brit’s love of fish, they probably don’t want the head still attached when it’s served. Rather than not serving guts and brains, the Chinese feel serving dishes like chow mein and egg fu young is the way to go. In other words, the typical Chinese dishes that can be found from Havana to Johannesburg. As part of the ongoing westernization process, a few lucky Hainan resort employees will be sent to re-education camps in the Caribbean and Canary Islands to study British holiday behavior.

In March the Chinese government went on the offensive with spitters at home. Those caught spitting will either have to clean it up on the spot or cough up 50Yuan on the spot. The government also wants to curb soup slurpers and queue shovers, but haven’t mentioned any penalties for these violators.

I’m not so bothered by slurpers or even the mad dashes to the front of queues as I am with public expectorating. Not only do the Chinese spit, they preface the spit, almost a warning, with a loud “haaaaak.” The spitting is just limited to the pavement. When we were at the Terra cotta warriors museum, a dressed in the usual Chinese tourist attire of polyester suit, hacked and spat right on the museum floor.

Now comes news that the Chinese government is alsoschooling Chinese tourists abroad to not leave no mucus behind.

“It’s really not that hard to create art,” says Chinese artist Zhou Tiehai.

In his quest to become famous, Zhou didn’t create masterful works of self-expression. Instead he broked away from the usual ingredients of Chinese art such as political statements and cliche Mao references. In one piece he, well more like his underlings, Photoshopped Joe Camel’s head on a piece of classical European painting that got all the art collectors salivating. Apparently, pieces like that can fetch around $100,000. Zhou has obviously discovered the roadmap from starving to famous artist.

I applaud him for beating the system, almost mocking it, and making loads of money. At the same time, I would have loved to hear about an emerging Chinese artist who didn’t sell out and was discovered for his own works.

When we were traveling in China on those overnight trains, it wasn’t the hard bunks or the cold draft or even the occasional phelgm hacker that kept us awake at nights. It was the tune of the loud snorers left and right, top and bottom, that left us cranky and half awaked when we arrived at the next city on a cold foggy morning.

Apparently, snoring isn’t just a problem for the overnight train passenger. It’s reached pandemic proportions that the Chinese army is now cracking down on snorers because they deem “the nasal sound of chronic snorers disturbs collective life”.

Before you draw up the next protest poster and congregate at the local Chinese Embassy, there will be no blood-letting. Snorers, along with those with “fashionable tattoos” just won’t be allowed in the army.