For about $70, we were able to score a room in the center of Osaka. The quasi-indoor mall in Shinsaibashi that leads to the insane neon of Dotonburi is a mere two blocks away. The hotel is located inside the JR circle line which is the ideal base if you want to be where to action is. While the room is cramped for 2 people, it would be somewhat of an upgrade from a hostel. The free basic Japanese/continental breakfast is also a nice touch. At around USD$71 a night, for Japan it is quite a bargain.

On our last night in Tokyo, we hopped into a happening izakaya in Ebisu. There wasn’t an English word anywhere except on the Kirin label. We couldn’t understand what was asked of us. We just wanted to point and use hand gestures. The waitress needed to know right away what it was we wanted to drink and eat. Looking like idiots, she asked around if anyone can translate for us. Luckily, we sat between a couple of girls who can speak a bit of English, and a lady who was fluent in mandarin. I was never so happy to be bustin’ out my putonghua. They helped us order food and drinks and chatted quite a bit. The girls were excited to know that we were from NYC. One of the girls even asked if we knew Kanye West. That marked the second time in Asia that we’ve been asked about Kanye West.

It’s no secret that Tokyo is expensive. Inexpensive lodging were few and far between for folks like us on limited budgets. As much as we were tempted to splurge on a neat boutique hotel deadsmack in shibuya, we came back to our senses and opted for a, damn i hate to say the H-word, hostel out in Asakusa. It’s about 30 minutes on the subway to Ginza and Shibuya and in a quiet residential neighborhood that let us feel a bit like locals in Tokyo. The touristy Senso-ji is within walking distance so there is some life in the area. There are a couple of bars catering to the backpackers, but otherwise, the area is pretty dead.

The name of the hostel screams backpacker. The rooms are backpacker-esque. The common area is filled with empty beer cans and the requisite pot noodles. The free computers are shit. Plus, there were a group of German stonemasons at the joint. In other words, Khaosan Tokyo had all the markings of a typical hostel. At about $19 a person, it is a bargain by Tokyo standards.

However, the walls in the “private” rooms did not reach all the way to the top of the ceilings. They were paper-thin, so we could hear all the snoring and coughing emanating from the group of middle aged Russian men in the next room. The showers on the first floor had low ceilings and quite cramped. Anyone over 6 feet might have to bend down slightly while showering. On the plus side, the hostel does have those bidet toilets that spray your ass after you do your business.

Tokyo is way too cute. We’re all familiar with Hello Kitty, My Melody and the rest of the Sanrio characters. Then there are cutesy cartoon characters all over town doing everything from telling metro riders to watch for the closing doors, puppies on construction warning posters, a racoon informing you on the process of purchasing metro tickets, the iconic Doraemon shaking his thaaang for a delivery service, stuffed toys of the shinkansen, smiley faces on toilet tissue, shapes of stars from the kupi mayo, happy loaves of bread, and of course Hachi-ko is seen pretty much everywhere around Shibuya. The colors are soft and pastel adding to the cartoonish and the cute. It does, however, give some character and ligten up the otherwise, bland information posters and signs all over town.

and we land in Tokyo. As luck would have it, we ended our last trip to Belize with a rainy day and begin our latest joint with a heavy downpour. Somehow the 14 hour flight felt longer than what a 14 hour flight should be. Maybe it was because I expected better in flight entertainment or that I would’ve just conked out and fell asleep the whole way.

We got through passport contol and picked up our backpacks quickly and with Japanese efficiency. As we approached the customs door, we were stopped and questioned about what we were bringing into the country. The agent showed us a binder of pictures of guns, weed, cocaine, porno (mayfair and club), bootleg louis vuitton, animals, syringes, and pirated dvds. We both said no we don’t have this stuff, so of course they took us in for a thorough search through our stuff and body pat downs.

As they sifted through my socks and underwear, the searchers were asking us if we plan on smoking weed in Japan, do we do drugs, and if we do drugs back in our home country. Now, do they really expect someone to say yes to any of those questions? They were really nice and polite throughout the search and asking me about where we’ve traveled to.

After that episode was over, we hit the DoCoMo desk to pick up my fabulous 3G Japan phone, and hit the tokyo metro. I know the Japanese are known for their efficiency and willingness to help, but seeing it in person is something else. If the person helping you cannot speak English, he will run, yes run, to go find someone who does. And they do it politely and with a smile on. That stuff would never fly back home. Imagine an MTA token booth clerk running to find someone to assist a person who didn’t speak any English?? That’s just ludicrous.

About an hour later, we arrived in Asakusa station, and saw the golden turd above the Asahi beer office. Ah yes, it is one of the symbols to look for while going to the hidden hostel. The place came complete with backpackers who have been staying here too long, middle aged folks, and some wacky Germans dressed in polka gear. What’s the deal with packs of Germans at hostels?